I have never been a big New Year’s fan as this holiday in particular I’m always a little accident prone. I’ve been hit in the eye by a popper at a party, groped two handed in San Francisco, peed on my wallet in a park (maybe that was someone else, the memory’s a little hazy) stepped on the red-hot wire of a sparkler, gotten asthma from the cordite or whatever from fireworks, and had to hose down the cedar shake roof after mishaps involving bottle rockets and flying wish paper.
Still, New Year’s Day is an optimistic holiday, and with enough alcohol and bad renderings of Auld Lang Syne, I can imagine this will be the year I lose weight, that the economy is actually turning around, and my book will finally get published. For that, I love New Year’s.
Being the creative control freak I am, I go on an annual “focus my intentions” personal retreat on the mountain with my little tent and journal, and assess Where I’ve Come From and Where I’m Going. Yes, those are actual columns where I look at last year’s goals and journal entries and then adjust and redo them for the following year. I know, sickening, right?
But it’s worked. In close to 20 years of doing this I’ve achieved a LOT of my goals, because I won't settle for the unaimed arrow never misses. Some goals still stubbornly elude me, like losing weight permanently, releasing certain people of expectations, and taking vitamins daily—but I keep tacking them onto the goal list. Because if there’s ever a personal motto I have it’s this: if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.
(Oh how I love my slogans and mottoes! If I ever develop a branded therapy technique, The Bumper Stickers of Your Life is going to be it.)
But this year, I’m burned out. This year, that all just feels like work and I actually dread my retreat, a time I usually treasure. I was considering not doing it at all when I read Rachelle Gardner’s insightful blog. http://cba-ramblings.blogspot.com/
She said something similar in hers, then how she just wants to write some key words and then keep them handy, and make tiny choices that feel good and head her toward that intention.
I love that. That’s something I can do in this burned out end of 2010, with neighborhood piles of used-up firecracker paper just waiting to land me on my okole (rear end).
Some of my unresolutions for 2011, in no particular order (what a concept!)
Love & Acceptance
Healthy & fit
My retreat this year is going to be a little indulgent now, as I plan it. Perhaps a I’ll take a scent candle and a nap in my tent (not at the same time) along with a new book I’ve been hankering for, and my painting stuff—or just a whole lotta nothing but my bongo drums. I get to let intuition guide me toward these liberating little words I’ve chosen for 2011. Nothing needs to be a chore, when Fun is one of my desired outcomes.
I can dream on these words effortlessly, full of grace and laughter.
What are your New Year’s Unresolutions?