“Our agency agreement is terminated.”
Those words are the period on the end of a three-year sentence: one year to get the agent, one year to work on Blood Orchids to her satisfaction, one year to try to sell it. This last year was the hardest one, as I follow industry trends and wait wait wait “on sub”, a state every other author I've read or talked to calls “agonizing.”
And now, we've pulled the plug on trying to get a book deal with a major publisher. She's given back any rights to my books and they're “mine” again. Wooo.
I'm sad–sad to have tried so hard and “failed.” I don't like that feeling. Never have, never will.
Giddy–a world of new possibilities opens up. I have not one, but TWO finished books in my series, and a third in editing, and a fourth being planned. I can do it myself, or work with a small press and get my books out into the world, finally!
Terrified–I can do it myself, or work with a small press and get my books out into the world, finally!
As a therapist, I often find I have to eat my advice to clients the very next day, sometimes the next hour. This is one such time. Yesterday, working with a depressed divorcing client, I explained the Cognitive Behavioral Model and the role of emotions as indicators and precursors to decisionmaking. It seemed clear, then, a drawing I did for him on a whiteboard.
Today, I cringe to think that emotions and thoughts (at least about the big things in life) are ever that simple. It takes real courage, real fortitude, to sort your way through them and find a right path–and even then, what is “right?” My last three years were part of that path, but if I'd known how it would end, would I have walked that way?
Probably not.But, it is what it is, and in the end I know my books are better for it.
Only one thing is clear right now: I'm getting those books out, sooner rather than later. And more will be revealed.
Sorry to hear it ended that way, Toby. You didn’t fail though. You tried something, it didn’t work, and in the process you gained knowledge and experience that you didn’t have before. I’m a firm believer in “no regrets” – even the hurtful stuff we go through adds to the person we are and helps us make decisions going forward.
I’m looking forward to hearing about your next move…and if you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask. 😉
Thanks so much Jamie!!!
I am still wanting to read all four of them! Can’t wait!
I’m counting on it Julie, if you want an advance read of Ginger I can send to you for reading on your iPad!
Great! Any time it’s ready.
My dear dear sweet writer buddy Toby,
I am so glad your agonizing has ended. Welcome to the Indie proud writers. You are blessed. This is a time of discovery and thrill for us all.
My publisher Hearpress is such as you described, a small entity doing that for me and another author.
I direct your attention to deanwesleysmith.com The man has been in the publishing world for 30 years or more. Read some of his posts. Very enlightening. He just discovered 20k his agent kept from him. Just go check him and his wife out.
All my blessings and hugs to you on a successful venture.
Thanks so much Sonia, it’s fellow writers on this road who know best the rollercoaster of the journey. I so appreciate you and your encouragement!
“It ain’t over till it’s over.” Some of the most successful indie writers are in mysteries and thrillers. Publishing your own work is going to be a new adventure, and while it doesn’t have some of the perks of traditional publishing, it also doesn’t have many of the frustrations. Best of luck!
Linda, thankful beyond words for you being in my writer’s group, in my life, and your help in this next phase!
Failed? No. You learned something. Probably a lot of things. And now you’re ready to go down a different path – wiser than before. Who knows, maybe it’ll all turn out better than you ever imagined? Best of luck, Toby. I think you’ll do great.
Thanks Gemi, I hear from others your (most excellent) book is doing well! I’m overdue to give you an Amazon review, I so enjoyed it!
I’ll echo what Gemi said. She has walked the same path, as has Suzanne O’Leary and come out stronger and better. You’ll be fine, mate. You have the guts and the talent. Getting a ‘traditional’ publishing deal takes both those things – and a large slice of luck. So you weren’t lucky. Make your own luck.
Make your own luck. I like that, and I believe it.
I once commented to you that an excerpt from one of your works read more like a SCRIPT to me. Perhaps pitch to a different industry?
🙁 I can only imagine the frustration, but think how much better they are from the influences of the last 3 years. Everything is a learning experience–from one therapist to another. xoxo
You are so right. It’s all grist for the mill!
I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you! Keep at it. You probably already know – Kathryn Stockett, author of “The Help” was rejected 60 times over 3 years!
It’d only be failure if you hadn’t learnt anything along the way, and I doubt that’s the case.
Regardless of how / where / when your novels will get published, you’ll have an enthusiastic reader here!
THank you, meeting with someone Friday about developing the book!
On another note, and to add a simple emotion to the more complex ones: I’ve got an award waiting for you. 😉
You made my day, KC, yippee! *smiles and grins* thank you!
Oh, honey. This sounds like an utter roller coaster. But it also sounds like you’ve still got your center of gravity now you’re off on solid ground, again. Keep moving forward!
Looking forward to getting to know you, Suze,and thanks so much for stopping by! Aloha!
Hi, new follower from K.C.’s blog award ceremony.
Your post is timely for me as well. Going through some tough emotions with the whole querying process right now.
Wonderfu you stopped by, Luanne! my advice to others is to skip the whole year of getting an agent–poor things can’t sell diddly in today’s market and are hanging on by fingernails themselves. But, that’s just me.
I don’t even know you but now I want to read your book. Came here via @maxandcats on Twitter.
Awesome! thanks so much for popping in, I hope you’ll stay and I’ll let you know when the book comes out!
We have a saying in Jamaica that every disappointment works out for good. I’ve tried traditional publishing – and I’m grateful to have got a foot in the door – but it hasn’t worked out as well as I’d have liked. I’ve made a momentous decision myself and will be moving in another direction. Hope everything goes smoothly with getting your projects on the market. You’ve made it this far, so you’ll get there.
Thanks so much for popping in and adding your support, Jim. It seems times are very tough and many of us must find our own way. Here’s to both our success and supporting each other! *toast*