Eight Ways to Savor Alone Time
My husband is on a service and photography trip to Nicaragua, and we have the kind of marriage where we happily let each other do our own thing. I kissed him a quick public goodbye in the middle of an artist party and he drove himself to the airport.
Apparently I like him more than I thought I did.
But I am finding, as I often do, that I am more attached to having another person around than I thought, and the transition to being alone resulted in insomnia, some free-floating and irrelevant anxiety, and a lack of “zip” or sense of anticipation about much.
In short, I was missing the hubby. I’m a little embarrassed about it. I firmly believe in cultivating a taste for one’s own company, and in the second week of his absence, I’ve begun rediscovering these joys.
- It’s good, in general principle, to practice aloneness tolerance. After all, we never know when we will find ourselves in an alone phase.
- Eat whatever you want, whenever you want. I ate eggs for dinner one night, a yogurt another. My hubby, a “3 squares” meat and potatoes man, would not have considered this dinner in any form.
- I get up and read or work anytime throughout the night, without worrying about waking him up. I also took a nap at 9:30 a.m. one day.
- Braless, nude, or unshaven. Sometimes all three.
- Hosing myself down with perfume, lighting scent candles, and using smelly hair product—the hubby’s allergic to scents. I’m lighting another incense stick as I write this. (Whee! I think the fumes have gone to my head, this feels so naughty.)
- Things are the way you left them, when you left, and that’s tidy-ahhh!
- Catching up all the movies and shows he’d hate on Netflix. (In my case, that’s Sex and the City, chick flicks, LOST, and Prison Break)
- Blasting music at all hours. He’s not a music person and I am, so Pandora rules the house now.
These are just a few of the many tiny rewards of alone time. What are some of yours? How have you cultivated a taste for your own company?
I’m so happy to hear you’re enjoying your aloneness! I get to be alone, but it’s limited to school hours.
#4!!!!!!!!!!! I rather like pantsless, too.
and #8. Without a doubt. My BOSE bluetooth-enabled speaker is my dearest friend, and worth every single penny. Ipod is next to me, speaker is across room, and I can control the song AND volume without moving. Bliss.
One thing in my house that’s great when I’m alone is that I can set the temperature to my own likes, or open the curtains and windows if the mood strikes me. Sunlight and fresh air are good. Hubby doesn’t believe me. Oh, and I light candles that DON’T smell like baked goods. Seriously, I don’t understand his fascination with the house needing to smell like cinnamon buns. It only makes me hungry, and I can’t eat that stuff right now. 🙁
I think it’s so wonderful that you give each other plenty of space–and still treasure that time together. What a wonderful marriage, to have gotten to such a safe place with one another. (And, knowing you, you’ve probably written four more novels by now…)
Except for the scents, that’s pretty much what I used to do when my husband traveled. He traveled too much though and now he doesn’t travel at all. I like him to travel just enough!
I love sprawling on the sofa reading as much as possible – our place is small and only one of us can lounge at a time so I usually sit. And eating what I feel like – even though my husband is open to all food, it just feels nice when you’re on your own. We get lots of time to ourselves, but it’s always nice for one of us to head away and let the other have the place overnight. Alone time is very important. Enjoy yours (though I’m sure you need no encouragement).