I’m in California, long known as the Fruit n’ Nut Belt. Only I’m in the Yuppie end of things—without naming names, a town where Morgan Stanley looms over the Pilates Center next to Gucci, and the average per capita is probably more than most third world countries make in a quarter. I’m here on a writing retreat, and I start things off by “orienting”—taking off for a walk around town with my backpack to figure out where everything is, then buy some supplies, aka food.
Here are some of the things I like about California:
Sea lions getting sun and posing for cameras
Things I don’t like about California:
Crowds, and please note the smog.
I went to the beach and experienced the above. Then I went to the market, and discovered awesome things we don’t get for less than the price of a firstborn in Hawaii:
Oh God, RASPBERRIES! for a DOLLAR!
Three dollars for a bunch. I'm robbing these people, no shit.
Well, you say, aren’t pineapples and bananas (which I have in back yard) as good as raspberries and sunflowers by the dozen?
No. It’s all about the human craving for variety. We’re wired to lust after new and different things, particularly in our diets as said new things probably contain selenium or rhodium or some such needed micro-bit for biological functioning. Not to mention tropical is just boring to me by now.
Then, in California there are the cars. Average ride in this town is this:
You can't spit without hitting one of these. No rust either!
While the average car in Hawaii looks like this:
your classic island cruiser, no driveway is complete without a couple
Then, there is the plastic surgery. I passed, on foot with my backpack, nothing less than three “clinics” offering every known beautification process and I’m proud to say, I resisted looking like this:
Yeah with my luck, that's just what would happen.
Instead opting to keep my “natural beauty” since it’s cheaper. And I’m here to write, not beautify.
Then there are the houses, most of which look like this:
Passed this one a couple times.
When most of the houses in Hawaii look like this:
I like the TV satellite by front door. We're classy like that.
Which is all to say, I’m loving my time in California, but Hawaii no ka oi! Rubber slippers beat high heels any day.
Totally agree. Nothing in California ever tempts me to stay there–but I do love to go and look!
Delightful blog! I live in California but haven’t been fortunate enough to visit Hawaii yet. Guess I’ll have to do so for the sole purpose of confirming this information in this blog! 🙂
Great job, Toby. Very enjoyable!
As you well know, California is not just the cliche of smoggy beach in teeming southern California or even a micro geography of ritzoids. California still is a beautiful state with unique natural features to rival any geography worldwide and populated mainly by those who prefer denim with flat shoes, toil for average wages, and live in modest homes. Despite seemingly being a HI wannabe, you always will be a native born Californian, so be FAIR and kind to the place of your birth–now in fiscal peril. Your adopted state of Hawaii isn’t just Honolulu or Kauai either. Challenge your skill and humor to a unique reveal about your current opportunity. Your followers await.
Fair enough, “cousin!” My next blog will be pro- California, which I really do love very very much. I just couldn’t resist poking a little fun.
Avoid hackneyed cliches done to death when you have the talent to create something entirely your own. Waiting…..
…I actually kind of take offense to the accusation of her being a Hawaii wannabe. Most of Toby’s life was spent in Hawaii, both childhood and adult. Why does the accident of your birth place force you into loyalty to that place as opposed to the place which nurtured and raised you, and which you choose to live in and serve? If your adopted home shaped you and made you, then isn’t it your real home?
Anyway, that’s my take on it. It is hard enough to be a haole in Hawaii without even our supposed friends attacking the validity of our belonging there.
Not about loyalty, not about home, not about friendship.
These exact abbreviated observations of CA also can be assigned HI, NY, and FL and have been–too many times.
Unrelated, but addressing your commentary, the writer, herself, many times has drawn attention to her self described non-native Hawaiian distinctions…..not a topic addressed here.
Further, the writer has IDed this blog as a professional launch…..not a replacement for FB chat.
Hence the nudge to showcase the writer’s original observations rather than universal rehashes. You will agree that the writer is more than capable of captivating readers with her own material.
I agree with Tawny! Furthermore, I feel that California and Hawaii are both so unique and special in their own way that they are difficult to compare (I can say that now but Toby can attest to the fact that I was not so fond of Hawaii as a child. I think it had something to do with the many hours of mandatory gardening I performed and the nasty staff infection I acquired from those oh-so-lovely little mosquitos!). I think the reason they are so frequently compared is because of their proximity to each other. However, they really only have three things in common: great beauty, a liberal leaning and the great Pacific Ocean!
Yeah – rudda slippas all da way….
Ah, Cal-lee-forni-ya. My brother lived in Manhattan Beach for a while so I got to see that. Even went to a big film directors’ awards banquet. That was amazing, but not the traffic, the noise, the tearing down of wonderful old homes to get bigger (lost all their character). I love Hawaii and its simple homes. Cane spiders not so much. Yeah, raspberries are great. You can always come here to visit in the summer. Have fun in the workshop. Always invigorating.
I appreciated reading Toby’s comparison/contrast. As I too was born in California but have lived in Hawaii for 23 years. Every time I go back for a visit I am reminded as to why I left the state. Island living is a different mindset, you learn to appreciate the simple things in life!
Hey Toby, I made the move. I could not deal with Google and there FAQ’s anymore. So I’m now at Word Press. But I think it will take me awhile to adjust. My blogging has suffered a bit these past weeks to0. I think it’s the puppy. Yeah, I’ll blame it on him.
I too am a California transplant. The operation really worked too as my heart is here in the islands. When I see those photos of what looks to be southern Calif. smog I think, “man I hate that place.”
Ah, but theirs another reason I don’t like L.A. I’m from San Francisco. I’ll take the fog over smog any day.
I guess it just depends on where in CA you’re at. Down south is pretty scary. It’s a different world. Here in the Central Coast, we’re laid back and relaxed. Still have some of those things though (rich people, rich rides, fancy houses, and plastic surgery) but that’s mostly Carmel.
San Fransisco and Monterey, that’s where it’s at. You should come visit. 😉
Yep you guessed it, I was down south.
Up north is cooler- in more ways than one!